Ebb and Flow

I spent a lot of my life stuck in one place. Like the, “I must be right”, “there is only one right answer”, “I must feel happy” and many more black or white places in my life. I learned very recently that as children we have trouble with abstract thoughts. We can hold all things are good or all things are bad for example. We have a hard time with things are mostly good except when these things happen.

Being stuck was a way of life. Always be happy! Hmmmmm, how realistic is that? About as realistic as trying to only have any one feeling. It doesn’t. So, how do you go from having one feeling to letting them ebb and flow?

Ebb and Flow definition, a recurrent or rhythmical pattern of coming and going or decline and regrowth.

Here’s how it worked for me. I found a safe environment, where I could listen to other people expressing their insides out loud, I learned to do this myself and I became familiar - over time, with feeling and experiencing different emotions. I remember how revelatory it was the first time I heard someone explain what disappointment was.

Disappointment definition, sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one's hopes or expectations.

I must have had felt disappointment thousands of times but until I heard the definition and felt it after that it was elusive and confusing to me. The definition part being about 5% of the need and feeling it with that understanding being 95%. The melding of the information for my brain and the experience with my emotions for my body and spirit brings it all together in alignment.

Ebbing and flowing of emotions is like an orchestra playing a piece of music. Each distinct instrument (or emotion) plays its part and comes in and goes out. The combination of the different instruments makes beautiful and amazing music.

Using my voice to express my feelings with loving witnesses helps me to experience the magic of ebb and flow. The old way is to repress my emotions, not use my voice, let the emotion get bottled up inside of me and get stuck and grow, grow, grow. The new way is to experience the emotion - use my voice, feel the sensations in my body, acknowledge them, honor them and let them go. The beginnings of ebb and flow!