Human being Vs human doing

I can remember a time when I thought that the adult thing to do was to not feel my feelings. I was trying to fit into everywhere I showed up in my life. To be an adult and fit into society I needed to get married, have two cars, present myself a certain way. I learned that it needed to look good on paper. It needed to add up in society’s book. It wasn’t about what I wanted, needed and certainly not about how I would feel along the way.

I have spent my lifetime in action most of the time. Projecting myself into the future, making that list of things that must be done, diligently checking them all off of the list and never stopping to consider or feel if that was I wanted or not. I ended up doing all the things that I thought society wanted me to do and ended out feeling lonely and unfulfilled. The crazy thing about that is that drove me to feel like I must do more to fit in.  

I thought to myself, there must be something missing, certainly if I get everything done I will feel better and fit in. Let me work on myself, let me take care of you, let me just keep so busy that I don’t have to feel this uncomfortableness. I was a human doing!

I realize now that I also would project myself into the past and relive situations in my mind. This was another way to escape. Either way I was not in the present. I was letting my life pass me by.

In the present is where life is lived. This is where I can be more and do less, this is where fulfillment lies for me. This is where I can do less and be more. This is where I can be in nature and have it fill me. Drinking in the beauty of nature, a good book, art, an amazing piece of music.

Relaxing in the present moment. Being, being present. Listening to my inner guidance. In this place all things are possible. I find that water; the ocean waves, waterfalls, a babbling brook all put me in flow and expansion happens. When I enter that place where nature is free flowing I find that my intuition comes alive.

Other ways that work from me is dancing, watching clouds float by, watching the flames of a fire, seeing tree limbs swaying in the wind – leaves rustling. Being with nature and flow. Human connection also seems to be in this category of fulfillment and wonder. This place that energizes and rejuvenates me.

When I find myself in that doing place, when my mind is running the show I begin again and listen to my heart. Listen to my soft inner voice that is guiding me and leads me without effort to the next right piece of my path.