Telling my story - Learning to listen
In my previous post called “Telling my story - truth or fiction”? I shared - “What would it be like if there were safe places where I could share the hard stuff? The actual truth of what is going on”. In that post I shared some of the things I learned and in this post I go deeper on learning to listen.
Not listening began so innocently and I am guessing this might resonate with some of you. My pattern was living in the future. I was planning and plotting what would happen later today, tomorrow, next week, month, year or decade. I remember coming home from a job interview and planning out everything; whether I would accept or not, how the negotiations for salary would go, when I would start, what it would be like on the job and how I would retire from that company. I hadn’t even received an offer.
Others of you might resonate with this alternate story line of living in the past - I came home from the job interview and I can’t get it out of my head. I keep recounting the interview experience. When I talked to Bob, I took too long in answering that question. With Sherry I felt really uncomfortable and I am not sure what was going on there. Reliving every moment again and again.
Either way I am not present. I am lost in the thoughts in my head.
When I got to those safe rooms I was in so much pain, I knew I needed to do things differently.
I realize now that the pain, was a catalyst. When I arrived in those safe rooms. I knew that how I had been experiencing life wasn’t working. I knew my thinking had gotten me to where I was now. So, I was open. In the beginning the only thing I could truly do that seemed to help was listen. Here are the gifts I uncovered for myself.
When I stop running my future or past scenario over and over again. I can truly listen. When I do that it brings me into the present moment.
As I listened to them share their stories, I started to recognize pieces of my own story. Puzzle pieces - I started to collect them and started putting together my picture.
During the stories I heard things that they tried that worked or didn’t work for them. When something resonated with me I wrote it down so I might try it later.
We are more similar than different - our experiences are different but, the feelings are the same. I learned to truly listen and not compare my story to theirs.
When I see an hear others being vulnerable, I see them as courageous - not weak. I realized that is true for me as well.
I realized I was not alone. There were other people out there experiencing struggles and feeling the way I did. This knowing, that I was not alone calmed me.
Listening to the stories created a practice of being present. The most amazing thing happened, my intuition blossomed. When I am able to listen to others - it also gives me the pause to listen to myself.
If you would like to experience a safe place where you can tell your story click on the learn more button.