Telling my story - truth or fiction?

I don’t know about you but, I was taught to tell untruthful stories. The most pervasive story I tell in life is, “Everything is great!”

As I walk through my life. On a very regular basis the following untruthful story line gets re-enacted again, and again and again. It goes like this. Hi, Sue. I haven’t seen you in a while. How’s life? How are you doing?

My well rehearsed, polite answer is to say. Life is great (or fine, or good). It’s wonderful to see you (the truth). How are you doing? Very often the response I get from the other person is equally polite. I know there are times and places in life where this kind of answer makes sense.

The problem for me is that I end up saying this so many times throughout the day, week month or year. That I stop acknowledging the truth even to myself. Out of a sense of politeness I create a false narrative. I have no issues, no problems, and no hard feelings. Everything is great!

My work life is perfect - no difficult people or problems to solve. Everyone in my life (including me) is in perfect health. I never have any relationship issues. My finances are perfect. The list can go on and on. In that one phrase - “everything is great!” I painted with a broad brush for everyone who is listening that my life is perfect.

Telling my story

Two things come to mind about that. I know the truth of my situation. As the words come out of my mouth, I feel uncomfortable. I I feel kind of bad in lying about it. The second is that when I listen to people, I believe it when they tell me that everything is great (I am guessing you do too).

What comes next is a big problem. We all start comparing other people’s outsides to what is really going on in our actual insides. Then the stories I start telling myself get out of control.

So, let’s dial it back. What would it be like if there were safe places where I could share the hard stuff? The actual truth of what is going on. Here are some of the things that I have experienced based on having the opportunity to share my hard truths in a safe way (and hearing other people share theirs).

The first big thing for me was listening. Listening to others be courageous and vulnerable. Hearing their story made me realize - that although their circumstances weren’t the exact same as mine - a lot of the feelings were.

I realized other people had hard things going on in their life too. I didn’t feel so alone.

When I told my hard truthful story, I received the knowing that I am not alone. As I told my story, people really listened. I felt seen and heard. Acknowledged.

That is the first few gifts I received. I will talk about more of them in upcoming blogs.

If you are looking for this kind of place, click on the Learn more button below and find out more about my upcoming, “Life is always in Transition” workshop.